Singers-Build a magic bubble, seal it tight, make sure your inside- singing can hurt the ego.
Ahhhhh! It is hard to be a singer. The ups and downs can be so extreme on your emotions and ego. You put yourself out there for people with an “exposed voice” for people to love, and some just don’t. Then they judge, and they say their harsh words, or write their pointed critics without hesitation.
The thing is they see us as these objects, these “singing objects” that they can just compare, cut down, ignore. But we as people make up that singer. We are inside that singer.
You sing because you love to sing, feel that you have been given this gift to share. You need to find a way to protect the innocence of that. Think of some of our top singers, people grossing millions from some and laughs from others. There is no black and white taste of what is good in the singing world once you reach a high level. Take Celine Dion- she is an amazing vocalist, but some people don’t like her music or find her cheesy so they dismiss her as an artist all together even making fun of her when that woman is an awesome talent. So what if you don’t like what she sings, there is a distinction between talent and taste.
I am inspired to write this after coming out of a rehearsal myself. I sang so well, and am at such a high level, but one comment made to me that was negative went stab right into my EGO. My immediate internal reaction to that was that I just wanted to shut down and walk away from the craft. I even feel shame and embarrassment at times when I hear a negative comment about my singing. - ridiculous Ariella!
Well folks, this is crap. Singers have to be strong. We need to build a crazy strong suit of armor around ourselves and disconnect our emotional reaction to peoples commentary. This is a job you are doing, don’t take yourself to seriously. If you can hear something constructive in their words than grow from the comment, if not throw it out, and I mean really throw it out and hold on to all the great comments you received instead.
Why is it we can here 20 great things and the 1 negative keeps us up at night? I’m with you people, easier said than done, what can you do to protect yourselves?
Create a Magic Super sonic bubble around yourself and bounce the negativity off like a super hero!–seriously.
Also, find a safe place to sing where you are not judged, but rather appreciated. Don’t loose the love for your art. Sing for that circle of friends, church, or family that makes you feel great. Go sing for a retirement home and fill your heart with appreciation for your gift. Don’t let the poison in.
The negative comments will always be there. You have to nourish your ego so that it is able to have a healthy reaction to it all.
Singers, stand tall and strong! 
written by: Ariella Vaccarino – creator of Voice Lessons TO GO (singing lessons on CD), and author of Vocalize!
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Tags: confident singers, singers and rejection, singing advice, singing psyche
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February 20th, 2010 at 9:31 pm
This is a very nice post. It is so easy to nurture others, but often we fall short on nurturing ourselves. Recently, I had to muster up the courage to tell someone that came to my house to sing for fun how she was affecting me. (Every time I sang a song, she had a negative comment or a “helpful” comment to make, though I never made anything by nice comments to her. I would never dream of telling someone else how to sing, if I wasn’t their teacher or asked for my opinion.)
I told her:
“Music for me is a joy and a comfort. It is something that gives me space to be me. When I have been working on my singing, I have been hearing an internal voice telling me what is wrong with what I am doing. And it is taking the joy from the experience. I do appreciate you and our time together. I would like to ask that suggestions be kept unless asked for. Do you think we could do that?”
I tried to be sensitive to her feelings in how I said my words, but still being true to myself.
She thanked me for my candor. And if she hadn’t, I was willing to accept the possibility. In a way, I had nothing to lose by expressing myself to her that was valuable.
The majority of comments that are positive versus the one ill-thought out negative comment is always a struggle for me and probably most people. I think people that say negative comments say more about their flaws than the flaws they are trying to point out in us.
September 8th, 2010 at 3:08 pm
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