Trust me on this as someone with a strong personality who has always been crazed for justice to the innocent and meek. I’ve sung for many years and have learned sometimes the hard way how important it is to be easy to deal with, no matter the situation or injustice you encounter.
The impression you give once, will always be remembered and assigned to you by all who witnessed it, no matter how many years have passed. And, impressions are spread from person to person and easily skewed in our business.
You never know who knows who, what director may work with the tenor you just fought with (whether he showed up drunk or without his lines no one will ever know), or which producer may be dating a wardrobe person you gave hell to (whether she tried to make you fit in a size 5 when you where a 9 or gave you an impossible costume change that would make you miss a cue) again, no one will ever know.
I understand for you the singer, it is so hard not to take things personally in this business. Often we are put working for people with really tough personalities rehearsing for long hours and not getting paid at that. Their is a whole lot of injustice that singers/performers encounter. You will deal with a lot of stupid and mean people who you know should not “have the right” to be telling you what to do. And, whether you are right or not… I recommend keeping things neutral on your part.
Be known as the person who is easy going and easy to deal with. Don’t talk behind people’s backs, you never know who you can trust in this business. Your chorus mate may seem like your best friend now while the conductor is going on a rant, but that same person may use any bait to score a solo from him next performance.
I can just feel emotions running through me as I write this of the different situations where I may have given a negative impression whether I thought I was standing for the greater good or not. Now years later, the “injustices” I was dealt on stage, or back stage are all gone, but the impressions I left are all still there for people.
The Riotous Fight
I did La Traviata for a small opera house. I was quite seasoned all ready singing the lead, but needed the performance opportunity to “get the role under my belt”. I got into a situation there fighting for the volunteer opera chorus behind me that the idiot director (who should never have been hired) was constantly verbally abusing.
This may have been riotous of me (having been a teacher for years all ready I was overcome with how awful she was to these poor volunteers.- It still makes my blood boil to think of that witch). But, after the production, she continued to work as an opera director (God only knows how), and I was never hired for that company again. Also, the people who really liked me and hired me in the first place became oddly cold to me after because that director had their ear. Who knows how many other people that may have spread to and how the story may have been altered.
Now am I saying if I went back and could do a “do-over”, I would change my actions? Phew, tough question. I think I would have learned that no one can be trusted or confided in. I probably would have spent more of my energy encouraging the chorus with positive feedback, and less of my energy against the monster director. I think I would have also done some reverse psychology with that director. Tried to “find the good in her” etc… to hopefully get her to calm down with the chorus through some reverse psychology. I guess I would have been smarter about it, and more careful about my impression. That is always hard to do when you are in the middle of it.
Easier to say but: Find a way to vent your frustrations to loved ones who are not involved and pose no threat to you.
When dealing with terrible personalities, know that they are going to be terrible no matter what you do, so you may as well find a way for them to like you by being that one easy person who doesn’t attack them. Often times fighting them will only effect you in a negative way. Your attitude should always be gleaming and easy as a performer. People remember your impression forever, what they won’t remember are the details that created the impression they have of you.
So, that’s a little advice for all you singers out there. Try and keep the slate clean. At least, try… 
I’d love to hear some of your stories on this one!
written by Ariella Vaccarino creator of Voice Lessons To Go (singing lessons on CD) and author of Vocalize!
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